Overcoming Childhood Trauma and Breaking Free from the Past

By Sophie Vonner, MA, NCC, LPC-A

Childhood is meant to be a time of love, safety, and care, but for many, it is instead marked by pain, neglect, or instability. Whether through emotional, physical, or verbal trauma, the wounds of childhood don’t simply disappear as we grow older. They shape the way we see ourselves, how we interact with others, and how we navigate the world. The pain may manifest as anxiety, depression, self-doubt, or difficulties in relationships. Many people carry these wounds into adulthood, unsure of how to heal from the past and move forward.

Healing from childhood trauma is not about forgetting what happened; it’s about reclaiming your power and learning to thrive despite it. One of the most important steps in this process is acknowledging your experiences. Many survivors downplay their trauma, telling themselves that "it wasn’t that bad" or that they should have "gotten over it" by now. The truth is, trauma is not defined by the event itself, but by how it affected you. Your pain is valid, and recognizing that is the first step toward healing.

Understanding how trauma has shaped your beliefs is also crucial. Childhood trauma often instills negative core beliefs such as I am not worthy, I am unlovable, or I cannot trust others. These beliefs may have helped you survive in the past, but they no longer serve you. Healing involves challenging these internal narratives and replacing them with self-compassion and empowerment.

Processing trauma requires creating a safe space to feel and express your emotions. Many people suppress their pain, believing that ignoring it will make it go away. However, unprocessed trauma lingers beneath the surface, affecting your relationships, choices, and mental well-being. Therapy, journaling, or creative expression can provide a safe outlet for these emotions. It’s okay to grieve the childhood you never had, to feel anger toward those who hurt you, and to acknowledge the weight of what you’ve carried.

Another essential part of healing is breaking unhealthy patterns. Many people who experience childhood trauma develop coping mechanisms that once protected them but now cause harm such as avoiding intimacy, self-sabotaging success, or tolerating toxic relationships. Recognizing these patterns and making conscious efforts to change them is a powerful act of self-love.

Reparenting yourself is also a key step in healing. This means giving yourself the love, kindness, and validation that you may not have received as a child. Speak to yourself the way you needed to be spoken to as a child. Nurture yourself in ways that bring comfort and stability. You have the ability to give yourself the care that others failed to provide.

Practicing mindfulness and grounding techniques can help you stay present and manage trauma responses. Childhood trauma can leave you feeling stuck in the past, reliving painful memories or operating in survival mode. Grounding techniques, such as deep breathing, meditation, and visualization, can help bring you back to the present moment and remind you that you are safe now.

Healing is not a linear journey. Some days, you may feel strong and empowered; other days, the weight of the past may feel unbearable. Both experiences are valid, and neither defines your progress. What matters is that you keep going, showing up for yourself, and choosing healing over fear.

You are not defined by what happened to you. You are not broken. You are not unlovable. You are worthy of peace, love, and happiness. The past may have shaped you, but it does not have to control you. Healing is possible, and you deserve to experience the life you were always meant to have.

If you’re struggling to process your childhood trauma, therapy can provide a supportive space to help you heal and grow. You don’t have to go through this alone; I’m here to help.